I know Valentine’s Day is still two weeks away, but I’ve gotten into the spirit! Uh, well, as much into the spirit as someone who doesn’t really see the point in the “holiday” can. Anyway, it’s hard to avoid the commercials. They keep playing this one on the radio for a jewelry store that sells these hideous gifts. The one radio dude says he has yet to meet a woman who doesn’t LOVE them. Uh, I’m willing to bet I could find a virtually endless supply of women who would throw up a little at the sight of them. It’s the kind of tacky crap you expect to see in the houses of people who suddenly have too much money and don’t know what to do with it. … you know, sitting in a crystal vase on a table, next to a golden cherub fountain on top of a zebra print rug.
Valentine’s Day is bologna. And I’m not saying that just because I’ve been single for the last 27 V-Days…Many people believe Valentine’s Day was created by Hallmark to encourage people to buy worthless crap for their loved ones. I worked for Hallmark, so you can stop believing, and start knowing this is an actual fact.
But I digress.
So my first extra romantic Valentine’s Day story takes place a few years go, and actually I can’t remember if it was my first or second winter in Virginia, but it doesn’t matter, really. Anyway, it was Valentine’s and Kris and I were both single, so that night when she got home from school we decided to go into town for dinner. “In town” means “not where we lived”. We had about 5 restaurants, only 2 of which were any good. We should have just stayed in our little two-stop-light town where they knew us and liked us. But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. After driving around for a while, we finally settled on a restaurant (we’re indecisive when it comes to food… pretty much because we like everything).
We went in, and it was nearly empty. So we waited. And got hungry. And then after that we waited some more. Now I have to point out, the residents of Virginia are awfully polite. Not all of them, but a lot. My dad commented on it when I first moved down. I didn’t really notice until I moved back to Pennsylvania that he was right. So it was a little weird that no one even acknowledged we were there. However, that particular area of Virginia is also known for not being particularly open-minded. I told Kristi it was probably because they thought we were lesbians out on a romantic Valentines date. I have to admit, we never did get good service there (or anywhere, really. When Kris and I get together, we will consistently attract the worst server in the joint… Seriously, just ask Kristi about the guy at Perkins and the “brain muffins”). I was sort of joking about the whole lesbians thing, but I think I hit the nail on the head.
Eventually we just left. So we tried another place and luckily did get seated, had some excellent food, and some sparkling conversation (but of course!). But you wouldn’t believe the looks we got. We should have started making out and really riled things up!
My other extra special romantic Valentines Day memory is shorter…There’s a local shop that has always been a little infamous for the messages it will put on its sign. They’re just a tad controversial, you see. One Valentine’s Day the sign read:
Get your wife what she REALLY wants for Valentine’s Day: A vacuum cleaner!
Awesome.
Also, on a completely unrelated topic, you should read this book:
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